Other than that, my friend Steph made me a artist card for me -
But other than those awesome things in my life, that's probably not why you are here (people of the future). You're here to read about my first review of easily one of the most disturbing movies ever made.
Of course I mean the twisted, sickening, horrorable... (whispers) What? I can't do that review yet? Well how about Cannibal Holo...(whispers) Ok, how about Sal... (whispers) Oh, I can't cause I don't have the mature filter on yet...
Well then, let's talk about Eraserhead.
It's hard to talk about anything weird and strange without mentioning David Lynch. Known for his surrealist films, he has developed his own unique cinematic style, which has been dubbed "Lynchian", and which is characterized by its dream imagery and meticulous sound design. If you need an example, take a look at his style in a Car Commercial. Eraserhead was his first mainstream movie and the one that put him on the map of being weird and disturbing, but is it any good? Let me explain...
As the film begins with the title, you see a man with strange hair on his side with a planet in space behind him. I didn't understand the symbolism yet, but I continued to watch...and watch... and watch.
And right away I saw a problem with this film.
It's slow. Like at a snails pace slow. I mean, yeah I see a barnacle man sitting next to a broken window and that weird haired man puke out an alien fetus... but it takes about 5 minutes to do so. 5 minutes and I have no freaking clue what the hell is going on in any sort of way. Is it symbolism? Is this foreshadowing? Is this a random way to get people to go WTF on the film and be confused? I'm not sure but I get the feeling I'm never going to find out.
So we see the main protagonist of the film, Henry Spencer (played by the late Jack Nance),walking in the back of a industrial site (or Matt's old backyard at some points) to his apartment room. At this point it has been 10 minutes since the movie started and I have yet to see anything close to resembling a story. So I have to take the art student side of me and believe that this is just a visual experience that I have to enjoy.
... and then I see a minute scene with him waiting on an elevator for the doors to close.
Look, I don't care what movie does it, any scene that has an elevator scene with nothing happening in it is just wasting time. You don't need to see it and it makes no contribution to the plot. "But Will," I hear some of my readers say, "It's showing the realism of the mundane in our lives." I don't care, it's still boring and I don't have to watch it.
...Seriously, I don't. You can't make me.
...You still can't make me.
...Damn you.
So he gets to the door when some exposition (like his name and girlfriend) is given to us by HELLO GOOD LOOKING lady neighbor across from his room played by Judith Roberts.
... I swear I have seen her before somewhere... Wait, isn't she that killer ventriloquist lady in Dead Silence? And she is in Choke? Hmm... I'll have to get back to her someday.
More minutes pass as we watch him move around his room, turn on a record, take off his sock, put it on the heater, look at his floor to see black hay, look at a window, get up and open a drawer, throw a coin or button in a bowl, look at a torn picture of a women...
The 15 minute mark hits and I wonder how much longer I have to watch this art film in which I haven't seen anything really happen with a point...
AN HOUR AND FIFTEEN MINUTES LEFT!!! DAMN!!!!
(to be continued)
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