Warhol's Flesh for Frankenstein or What the F#ck is Wrong with Warhol?

Before I go into the movie, I guess I should answer the question what my problem is with Warhol.

Back in college, I had to take a modern art class for my degree.  In this class, I was taught for a whole week about Warhol.  During this week, I saw some of the laziest art I had ever seen.  Commercial art and pop art really don't flow well with me... at least, if it is used, it can't be used for profit.  I have seen others copy other artwork, and even I have done it, but I don't care as long as there is no profit made, you make art to express your love, admiration, or desire.
But Warhol's philosophy was simple this -
"Making money is art, and working is art and good business is the best art."
This is an actual quote from his book.  And I fucking hate this dick.
As popular as he was (and kinda is now), he was known as a dick as well.  Some say he was just not easy to work with and was so full of himself that his personality is still being made fun of today as the sterotype of snooty modern artists.
And what do we get from him?  Soup can prints, screen prints of American icons, and really REALLY BAD PRETENTIOUS MOVIES.  LIKE HIS 8 HOUR LONG EMPIRE.  HERE!  WATCH TEN MINUTES OF IT!



AND DON'T FORGET THIS CLASSIC PIECE! -



 I WATCHED THESE MOVIES IN CLASS!!!!

Ok... I'm calm now.
The one thing I learned from him though that was worthwhile is that art is attitude.  You make it into art with your description, explanations, and story.

Which I can't say for his producing.

Yes, the Movies that have "Andy Warhol's" on them have little to do with the actual person.  They were made and directed by Paul Morrissey (who I only know from The Hound of the Baskervilles and Women in Revolt), but if I learned anything from The Producers, I know that Warhol had to read a bit and say, "I think this could be a great movie".  And then had his name put on it (either by his choice or not) because he is a copy artist who uses other peoples work to base his profit (SMACK!)...  sigh... ok, no more Warhol ranting, mostly because I really don't want to talk about him any more.

When you talk about Flesh for Frankenstein, you have to talk a little about it's brother film, Blood for Dracula.  I keep hearing different views on which one came first (some say that Flesh was first and the day after they finished filming, they started shooting Blood), but the movie is sort of dull, except for the ridiculous amount of blood spray they do.

The best way to describe it actually comes straight from the trailer -





But Flesh is... well... in a league of it's own.



So let's start the movie and see what we are in for -

(4 seconds later)
ANDY WARHOL PRESENTS!

FUCK YOU, MOVIE!  I HOPE YOU DIE IN A FIERY CRASH!

As we go through the opening credits, we see two children looking through cages and tanks until they find a doll and some tools.  They operate on the doll, messing with it's stuffing, and then put it in a guillotine and cut it's head off with a small squirt of blood. 
I believe I should be horrified, but I was raised on Addams family most of my life and this is daily stuff that Pugsley and Wednesday pull off.
When then cut to a small carriage ride with the children and mother through a forest around a castle.  They catch a man playing the bagpipes who is trying to hide two others who were fooling around.  She calls them trash and continues on.  

If you are American, like me, you will notice something odd right about now as she spoke... but it won't hit you until the next scene when you first see the Baron and his assistant Otto.

Try not to snicker while watching this -


The dialog is beyond odd.  And that's not even the worst one.

So we see that the Baron is trying to find the perfect "nasum" (or nose), to finish his Serbian creation that he believes is part of the perfect race... insert nazi joke here and move on.  We see the Baroness return with the children having taken them away from their school because of the rumors about their family, while the Baron goes down to his lab and pulls a naked female body out of a tank ( Rocky Horror style... which I guess comes from Frankenstein anyway... hmm... I need to do some more background info about that ).  We also see the male body pile from where he is getting parts for his perfect specimen, which I have to say it is awfully nice that he takes the time to re-sow those bodies after getting those parts.   

We then see the family eat dinner at the table... and while listening to the conversation we learn that the Baron and Baroness... who are married and have children... are brother and sister.

...Now, I think the usual response to this would be "Ew."  But since I never had either a brother or sister, I can not rightly say that.
So I asked another person who did.
His direct quote was -

"You sick fuck, who are you?  I'm going to kick your ass!"

Thank you random person!

We listen to bickering from both a brother and sister view and a husband and wife view... the usual "Mom loved you more" argument.  Then it cuts to two men outside digging holes (one with a really strong Brooklyn accent), as they talk about how one of them wants to be a monk and is uninterested about sex.  It then jumps back to the Baron and Otto as they mess with science projects and stick organs in front of the camera.

Did I mention this was filmed in 3D?  Totally can't tell.

The Baroness and kids go out and try to have a picnic, but then stumble upon one of the digging men (the horny one) messing around with another girl.  The Baroness breaks them up and after threatening his job, tells him to meet her at the castle in the morning.  Back at the lab, we see Otto and Baron sow up the male specimen and then have the awkward conversation that I posted earlier.

We then see the two men go to the local whore house, where we see one of them wash her tits... eh...

SEX SCENE!

Well... except for that guy who wants to be a monk.  Who keeps looking at the ass of his friend, until the ladies run out of the room screaming at a lizard.  The Baron sees the Monk man and believes him to be a stud with two women and loves the look of his nose.  They make plans...
The children are put to be with the most annoying mechanical bird lullaby, and we then go to the Baron grabbing tools...

Ok, the cuts for this movie are everywhere.  I swear it keeps changing every minute to a new scene.

The Baron and Otto attack the two men with a club and a pair of hedge trimmers and ACTUALLY BEHEADS THE MONK WITH THE TRIMMER.  Granted, his head transformed into a puppet head from Team America, but I thought the Baron was a doctor, wouldn't he be a little more careful cutting off parts that he needed... especially with such a rusty looking instrument.

With fanfare, the Baron starts to attach the head to the body.  While the horny man, waking up to his friends headless body and probably a hangover from the previous night, goes to see the Baroness to get a tongue lashing and is about to quit with probably the least amount of emotion explaining about his friend's murder when...

SEX SCENE!

I'm seeing a pattern here.

Back at the lab, the Baron is working on the female specimen, cutting stitches and flesh to open her chest with some fake blood.
The look on Otto's face throughout this movie is basically summed up with this one scene -

Along with a look I can only describe as...
"Er... sir, you do know that I'm here in the room with you right?"

And then it gets... weird.  As the Baron starts to sexually fondle the organs.
Yeah... I know.

Aw, look, the children were watching their mom have sex with the farm boy... how touching.
What could be worse than that?

(Ten seconds later)

I stand corrected... Fuck you movie.

The Baron does his 'thing', and then we get that line I said before -
"To know death, Otto..."
Yeah... now you know why he said it.  We still don't know why he DID it, but we can guess it's cause he's fucking nuts... of course!

And we reach the half-way point...  sigh...

The Baron and Baroness talk about the horny farm boy working at the house and how busy he will be...
SEX SCENE!
Oh... how ironic.

With something that sounds like a popcorn machine, they re-animate the two 'zombie' specimens and get them ready to get busy.  At dinner, the Baron brings out his zombies to eat at the table, with the horny farm boy butler seeing the male to have the same head as his friend, but having no strong reaction to it (at least, to my point of view, if they were trying to show him having one, he didn't do it very well).
The kids go down to the lab and start messing with stuff, from grabbing a severed hand to opening a cabinet with breathing lungs in it... 
Yeah, I'm just going with it for now.
The kids hide when the Baron brings his zombies back to the lab and while hiding, the kids get attacked by fake bats.  What was the point of this?  I got nothing except a link to DRACULA!!!  Nah, not really...

Another Sex Scene!...an awkward one with lots of armpit sucking...
I wonder what this could be leading up to...

The maid walks into the lab... (wait, I thought only the Baron and Otto knew how to get in...) and gets attacked by Otto, who is suffering from crazy tongue.  As he starts ripping off her clothes... he accidentally rips out her intestines?  I don't get that part... Also this part could have used buckets blood but it's clean...

Hmm... have I been watching this movie for so long that I've become jaded?

The Baron tries to get the zombies to mate... but someone can't get his 'part' working.  The Baron, infuriated at his failure to make the first zombie porn, starts to hunt for what went wrong.  The horny farm boy, after slapping the hell out of the Baroness, sneaks back into the lab and tries to get the male zombie to leave.  The Baron yells at his wife/sister, who gives up information about the farm boy in exchange for time with the male zombie...
Sigh... "Oh, sweet mystery of life, at last I found you..." *groan*
The Baron catches the farm boy leaving and orders the zombie monk to attack.  After a boring and weak fight scene, the Baroness takes the male zombie to her bed...

"Oh, sweet mystery..." *crack & snap* 
Well... that came out of nowhere.

While the farm boy is hanging around, Otto goes on a jealous rant and then takes care of the female zombie with his crazy tongue.  And then he disembowels her...
Seriously Otto, how the hell do you keep doing that.
The Baron strangles Otto to death while the male zombie brings him his dead sister/wife.  In a rage, he orders the zombie to kill his friend, but the male zombie (with an unemotional look) attacks the Baron, cutting off his hand with a gate and then epically stabbing him with a spear through the stomach (or gall bladder, I can't tell... that would be hilarious!).



I did mention this was in 3D, right?

The zombie leaves his friend hanging as he disembowels himself and joins the pile of bodies in the room.  As the horny farm boy looks at the pile, the kids walk down the stairs also looking at the pile, before the lung in the cabinet tells them something only they hear, grab tools, and raise the farm boy higher as they prepare for... 

The END!


Blah... symbolism leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

I find it strange that Rotten Tomatoes gives this movie a high rating.  But the only reason I can see that is because not many people wanted to watch it.
As a horror movie, I find it boring.  As an exploitation movie, it's just not that shocking.  As a parody... actually it kinda works as a parody, but it's still odd.  It's blended so many ideas that's it has become a mess. I personally don't recommend watching it.

What I can recommend is the review that Brows Held High did on the series, which I found the most entertaining and informative of the series.
Watch Blood and then Flesh, for your own Halloween pleasure.

Until then, have a safe time with your experiments and remember...
I've seen worse.