Held - A DM Dream

     Alone I stand in a darkness that I have created for myself.  Dark, hallow, cold, and pointless.  Waiting for when the creatures that live here to come out and show their ugly faces to me.   I can feel them there, waiting for me and fearing me at the same time.  My need for a drink is in my throat, and even though I know that it is impossible for me to feel anything, it burns with a thirst that no one else can understand.  What I have used for years and years to hold back nightmares and my thoughts is now out of my reach.  
I stay within the darkness, listening to nothing.  No breathing, no stomach noises, no heart beat... nothing.  Just the hum of memory and remembrance.  

     I wait.  I remember waiting many times in my existence.

     But there is a faint... whisper.
     It can't be a memory because I was not alive to remember, and it can't be a feeling because I can't feel.  But a spirit... a ghost withing this old shell telling me a story.  Every time the hum dies and the thinking stop, the darkness fads away to a silver land and there she is.  Always watching me and waiting.  
     I never move towards her, but she always moves to me, slowly and teasingly walking to me.  When she touches me, I feel cold, but I feel warm from somewhere I am not use to, somewhere below my lungs but near my chest.   The touch becomes a hand to my face and something happens that I know can't be... 
     I am in love with her, this nameless woman in my deep sleep.  I hold her gently and for the first time in my existence I feel tired in a way that makes me want to close my eyes and sleep forever in her arms.  To be with her, who no one else makes me feel like.  My love... the one I call Lily.

     But the humming returns, and the numbness returns as she slips from my sight, my memories, my dreams, and I wake to a different girl.  
     She looks young, tired, constantly sure of herself, unneeded kindness, and needing help.  I also feel for her as well.  It isn't the desire I feel for Lily, but a need.  
     A need to keep her safe.  
     A need to keep an eye on her.  
     A need to stand up.  
     A need to move.
     I love her as well.  Because she reminds me of her.  Her daughter... 
     And I will die for her again and again.   

     Because I am the Dead Man, and the dead feel nothing...
     Nothing but memories and ghosts. 




Another old story, back about 4 years ago.  Re-edited now.
Still working on my next one, but also packing up for my vacation.
The flooding has calmed down in Texas today, and Matt is packed for his travel.
It's going to be a busy time.
I'll probably post another re-edit again before I go.  But who knows.  Maybe a movie review as well.